Anak Nakal has taken up constant sniffling and head-hanging in the 2008 Nick Zito barn. War Pass, an Eclipse Two-Year-Old Male Champion now injury-retired and Chief counsel to the barn occupants, wants to know why.
WAR PASS: (firmly, on the stable’s telecommunications network) “Nakie, what’s wrong with you? This is the third race you’ve blown since the Triple Crown events (Kentucky Derby, Preakness Stakes, Belmont Stakes) ended.”
ANAK NAKAL: (in the corner of his stall sniffling into his hay rack) “I’m just feeling a little off, that’s all.”
WAR PASS: “Then see the vet!”
ANAK NAKAL: (sniffing) “I don’t need a vet.”
COOL COAL MAN: (laughing a low whinny) “More like a love doctor, he needs.”
WAR PASS: “What do you mean, Man?”
COOL COAL MAN: (mimicking Anak Nakal) “I’m just a fool for those dark gray coats.”
WAR PASS: (stunned) “What? Dark gray? Oh, no…Eight Belles (who broke down and died directly after the 2008 Kentucky Derby)?”
COOL COAL MAN: “Bingo!”
WAR PASS: “Man, hush! Nakie, were you hay-dating Eight Belles before the Derby?”
ANAK NAKAL: (gazing ever downward) “I still think of her every day.”
STEVIL: (stamping his hoofs) “Ah, cripe!”
FIERCE WIND: (triumphantly) “Ha, I knew it!”
WAR PASS: “Pipe down, everyhorse!”
ANAK NAKAL: (sobbing) “I bullied her in the Derby like you said to…I’m so remorseful…”
WAR PASS: “Nakie, she should have been in that silly Kentucky Oaks, not the Derby. Shake it off and get back on track. You did your job. This is racing, and racing is about winning, not whining!”